Hello Mr. Reader! Yes, I have
missed you too. Believe it or not, but I did try writing to you a few times
since my last monologue, except that I just ended up staring at blank computer
screens and failing to draft any engaging excerpts from my life. As I have been
telling you, my life has been fast enveloping into a cocoon of similar things-
as if my world has shrunk: to my office,
a few close friends and my family (boyfriend can be counted in all of their intersections).
I don’t think it’s particularly wise to blog about my office life, suffice it
to say that I don’t exactly mind Mondays too much.
My world has really shrunk- I have serially dreamt some market data or other
number crunching from my work- and have gotten so confused in my dreams with
all the numbers floating around in my head that I have actually woken up in the
middle of the nights. Now if I must avoid talking about office, the only other
thing I can talk about is my personal life. I do understand that personal life
is also not a very appropriate choice to share on an online blog either, but
then again Mr. Reader- my world has really shrunk and you have always been a
comforting confidant. I don’t think I am living an extraordinary life at the
moment, I am sure I have the most common place relatable experiences of modern
day 20 somethings. Common place or not, life is still stressful and I feel that
it is important for more people to talk about everyday struggles and joys as we
wade through the rat race. Not that I am exactly failing, but every day is a
learning experience. My struggles may seem small, like breaking off from the g
= 9,800 of my bed every morning. Sometimes Facebook is too annoying, people
generally share only the sunny side of their lives. Maybe society was always
this way, maybe we are genetically programmed to share only our success
stories, but I think it is important to discuss problems just as much.
* Love is the most blissful emotion,
Mr. Reader! Love is the most complicated mixture of agony, insecurity,
jealousy, companionship, innocence and happiness. Love is like the umbrella
emotion – it covers them all! I am a very lucky girl, Mr. Reader. I think being
a pampered girl, is way better than being a guy. I am a feminist but not a
feminazi. Even in my own relationship, I understand that I am getting a better
deal than my boyfriend. I just inherently feel so protected, like he were my
patronus. Long distance relationships are difficult, Mr. Reader, unless you
have a partner like mine. Did I tell you, just how lucky I am? Everyday he
finds just enough time to tell me his day to day details, listens patiently all
of my minute by minute daily summaries, calms down all of my long lists of
naggings; how does he do all that, I have no clue – he is my superman J
* I keep realizing that I am fast
turning into my mom! I used to often make fun of her for patronizing overtly melodramatic
Indian tv serials. These days I enjoy Modern Family, Everybody loves Raymond,
Married with Children, The Middle, Dr. Ken – you know basically funnier English
versions of exactly what she watches. I have started appreciating and
understanding her from a new perspective, growing up she was my The Supreme
Authority of the Universe. Now, I can see her in more lights; feel sympathetic
and proud of her. She is more human to me now, but that makes her even more
extraordinary, she managed all those superhuman feats for me, inspite of being
just a flesh and blood person. How do mothers do that?- the extraordinary affection,
extraordinary selflessness, she is still the primary custodian of my happiness.
On her watch, no amount of sadness can invade through my heart.
* I have come to appreciate all
things classic – books, movies, art, songs whatever I can get hold of. With the
coming of age revelation that we are actually not much different from our
forefathers, that people were always people, society was always more or less
society, it is interesting to understand the intricacies and highlights of the
ages gone by. It is important to keep
evolving and resisting the negative side effects of our civilized modern day
society, but I have to tell you Mr. Reader – it is immensely gratifying to be
part of mainstream society. It may not be a very politically correct statement,
but I am just telling you my thoughts borne out of my own experience. Going to
Paris was a disaster, I felt myself displaced speedily from the comfort of
mainstream society. Yes HEC is good and I will always be proud of my degree,
but what I went through on personal level was not at all enviable. I was really
on my own, I completely neglected learning any French, I never understood what
people talked around me, I worked more out of necessity than any passion for my
job, I lived alone in studio apartments, desperately searching for a permanent job
in a field of my choice, not to mention being single and reeling from an
emotionally disruptive breakup. Have you watched Kangana Ranuat starrer Queen,
Mr. Reader? I have lived Queen. I have exactly lived the Queen movie except
that my trip lasted one and a half years. Not that I am exactly complaining, apart
from a solid degree, I now hold a new
found empathy to immigration, language barriers, unemployment, feminazism, and
all things non-mainstream society-ish. I am just saying that it is an immense
relief to be back in my comfort zone. Exactly who is this God who is scripting
my life? After hitting the rock bottom, I am now reviving back to life in Powai
of all places, back with my very same ex boyfriend that I had always ever loved
so much and working on a job that I actually
enjoy. Life would have been easier if the French one and a half years had never
happened, for my life always had the potential of turning out exactly this way
even right out of IIT. But then again, life is all about trial and error.
