The Transporter

Reading is very calming, Mr. Reader. It is almost magical, isn’t it? A written word, coupled with the imagination it produces can transport you into completely new worlds. You know what I love the most about books though, their complete honesty.  I don’t mean all books write the Truths, what I mean is the honest transparency of characters that you feel as a book places you in their shoes. Maybe that’s also why I much love fiction to non-fiction, because I love stories. I love to see the world from different eyes, eyes from different ages both bygone and futuristic ages to come. I have started to diversify my reading lists venturing into ever newer categories although I must say that medieval dramas and fantasy worlds that mimic the medieval dramas are my absolute favorites. Stories of Kings and Queens and brave Knights and famous Princesses, it just never gets old enough for me. It’s so simple isn’t it; we really never grow out of our childhoods. Although now I appreciate stories not just from a Knight-kills-the-Dragon-Story perspective, but rather also acknowledge the politics, diplomacy and power around it.

Some books are gems. So easy to read, so relatable, so masterfully crafted, reading them is almost like eating a huge mouthful of yummiest chocolate cake. I have felt a few good things from reading that I want to share with you Mr. Reader. Isn’t it almost impossibly magical that regardless of whichever book you pick up, a good story teller can metamorphose you into its characters? Sometimes it’s numbing to look at the books in my cupboard, they are all a world in themselves and I feel that I have transported back and forth out of them. Like I have lived a hundred lives, like I have seen the world from a hundred eyes, a hundred souls. The most striking thing is that you can relate to ALL of the characters, orphans and kings, men and women, soldiers and criminals, victims to perpetrators. People of all ages from all Ages! It’s truly incredible and to me reveals an exquisite truth – that really we are all alike. Deep down, really, we are all really alike.

What I crave the most in books is this deep rooted truth the honest transparent feelings that are so completely relatable. Because people in good books do not lie to you, good books tell you all about all the feelings people in them have. Real world is different, very different. People highlight their differences. We yearn to standout from each other. Real world is all about hiding true feelings or showing half truths. Book Worlds are different. The characters talk to you their true thoughts, all their good and bad feelings. They are not diplomatic to you. They tell you all what they feel and then as you get more engrossed in their lives you realize that you would feel pretty much the same. Books dissolve the differences. I am an introvert Mr. Reader. Small talks bother me. I can talk incessantly with my most favorite people in the world – my band of core group members of my life - family and close friends. Why? I guess it is because half truths bother me. Pretences bother me. If it is impolite to share all my true feelings with someone, I would rather just not share any feelings at all. Which is also why I truly treasure members of my core group, because it is incredibly liberating to be true to a few people. Books are really good that way, they are always honest. My best friends from Book World far outnumber people I know from Real World.

Sometimes I feel that if everybody read a whole lot of books there would be no hatred in the world. I think the dirtiest trick that all powerful rulers in the world have played is highlighting differences. It is outrageous isn’t it - biologically and chemically we are all really alike, and if we are all so alike inside how can we ever be so different due to outside factors? Not just all people you know, scientifically all animals and all plants evolved out of the same paradigms. I mean it’s not a philosophical debate, it’s a fact! Maybe it is fair to be proud of everyone’s unique individuality, but to hate anyone because they appear to be different is ludicrous! Real World is sometimes prominently disturbing that way, if you start to think about all the unfair things all the injustices it is quite unsettling. How can we all collectively exist without mobilizing forces to uproot all the Evil in the world?

But then again Mr. Reader that’s why probably Real World is quite real that way. Half Truths and half Evils make this world full. Life is not really black and white; nobody is completely good or completely bad. Maybe that’s why all forces in the world cannot be mobilized to extinct Evil because a little bit of Evil lurks inside all of us. And maybe that’s why Reading is exquisite – it lets you transport back and forth between Truths and Half Truths at your ease. 

Of Trials and Errors

Hello Mr. Reader! Yes, I have missed you too. Believe it or not, but I did try writing to you a few times since my last monologue, except that I just ended up staring at blank computer screens and failing to draft any engaging excerpts from my life. As I have been telling you, my life has been fast enveloping into a cocoon of similar things- as if  my world has shrunk: to my office, a few close friends and my family (boyfriend can be counted in all of their intersections). I don’t think it’s particularly wise to blog about my office life, suffice it to say that I don’t exactly mind Mondays too much.

My world has really shrunk- I have serially dreamt some market data or other number crunching from my work- and have gotten so confused in my dreams with all the numbers floating around in my head that I have actually woken up in the middle of the nights. Now if I must avoid talking about office, the only other thing I can talk about is my personal life. I do understand that personal life is also not a very appropriate choice to share on an online blog either, but then again Mr. Reader- my world has really shrunk and you have always been a comforting confidant. I don’t think I am living an extraordinary life at the moment, I am sure I have the most common place relatable experiences of modern day 20 somethings. Common place or not, life is still stressful and I feel that it is important for more people to talk about everyday struggles and joys as we wade through the rat race. Not that I am exactly failing, but every day is a learning experience. My struggles may seem small, like breaking off from the g = 9,800 of my bed every morning. Sometimes Facebook is too annoying, people generally share only the sunny side of their lives. Maybe society was always this way, maybe we are genetically programmed to share only our success stories, but I think it is important to discuss problems just as much.

* Love is the most blissful emotion, Mr. Reader! Love is the most complicated mixture of agony, insecurity, jealousy, companionship, innocence and happiness. Love is like the umbrella emotion – it covers them all! I am a very lucky girl, Mr. Reader. I think being a pampered girl, is way better than being a guy. I am a feminist but not a feminazi. Even in my own relationship, I understand that I am getting a better deal than my boyfriend. I just inherently feel so protected, like he were my patronus. Long distance relationships are difficult, Mr. Reader, unless you have a partner like mine. Did I tell you, just how lucky I am? Everyday he finds just enough time to tell me his day to day details, listens patiently all of my minute by minute daily summaries, calms down all of my long lists of naggings; how does he do all that, I have no clue – he is my superman J

* I keep realizing that I am fast turning into my mom! I used to often make fun of her for patronizing overtly melodramatic Indian tv serials. These days I enjoy Modern Family, Everybody loves Raymond, Married with Children, The Middle, Dr. Ken – you know basically funnier English versions of exactly what she watches. I have started appreciating and understanding her from a new perspective, growing up she was my The Supreme Authority of the Universe. Now, I can see her in more lights; feel sympathetic and proud of her. She is more human to me now, but that makes her even more extraordinary, she managed all those superhuman feats for me, inspite of being just a flesh and blood person. How do mothers do that?- the extraordinary affection, extraordinary selflessness, she is still the primary custodian of my happiness. On her watch, no amount of sadness can invade through my heart.

* I have come to appreciate all things classic – books, movies, art, songs whatever I can get hold of. With the coming of age revelation that we are actually not much different from our forefathers, that people were always people, society was always more or less society, it is interesting to understand the intricacies and highlights of the ages gone by.  It is important to keep evolving and resisting the negative side effects of our civilized modern day society, but I have to tell you Mr. Reader – it is immensely gratifying to be part of mainstream society. It may not be a very politically correct statement, but I am just telling you my thoughts borne out of my own experience. Going to Paris was a disaster, I felt myself displaced speedily from the comfort of mainstream society. Yes HEC is good and I will always be proud of my degree, but what I went through on personal level was not at all enviable. I was really on my own, I completely neglected learning any French, I never understood what people talked around me, I worked more out of necessity than any passion for my job, I lived alone in studio apartments, desperately searching for a permanent job in a field of my choice, not to mention being single and reeling from an emotionally disruptive breakup. Have you watched Kangana Ranuat starrer Queen, Mr. Reader? I have lived Queen. I have exactly lived the Queen movie except that my trip lasted one and a half years. Not that I am exactly complaining, apart from a solid degree, I now hold  a new found empathy to immigration, language barriers, unemployment, feminazism, and all things non-mainstream society-ish. I am just saying that it is an immense relief to be back in my comfort zone. Exactly who is this God who is scripting my life? After hitting the rock bottom, I am now reviving back to life in Powai of all places, back with my very same ex boyfriend that I had always ever loved so much and working on a job  that I actually enjoy. Life would have been easier if the French one and a half years had never happened, for my life always had the potential of turning out exactly this way even right out of IIT. But then again, life is all about trial and error.