It’s always good talking to you Mr. Reader! Especially now
that I have hardly anyone to blabber to (how I miss you, insti!) You see I am
enjoying my last few days home (you could say months but I am going to pretend
not to hear it); I have got admit from HEC Paris for their Masters in International
Finance Program! My class commences in September and meanwhile life’s left me
to indulge in some (well-deserved?) unlimited leisure. Now, HEC comes with its
own campus, hostels and restaurants and hence the cooking lessons have been indefinitely
postponed by me. Good as I am at doing nothing (ok that’s different from
good-for-nothing!), I am hardly upto anything these days. That’s if you agree
that spending endless hours on TV, reading novels, watching movies and laptop-ing
amounts to no work!
I have never been out of India. Plus if you know me, I am
hardly a brave heart. Even a cockroach can scare the hell out of me and a 5th
grade boy could get the better of me. On the face of it, I am quite
hopeless. But look again Mr. Reader I have aged a lot more last four years
(almost an exponential curve if you ask me). Particularly my last semester brought
about an uprooting mental upheaval. Nothing had turned out as I had hoped for.
I went through a frustrating break-up. The idea to apply for MS – finance courses
had caught my attention by then. And you won’t believe Mr. Reader just about
how many twists came as each of my admit results came one by one. It felt like
Life were unravelling an intense thriller, a world of so different possibilities
opened with each one. My results came in almost an ascending order, the final
one was the most awaited and the most promising. To give you a quick snapshot, the
deadline to accept IE Business School was 25th of May and my HEC
Paris results came on May 24th! If my life were a story book you
would have hanged on until the very last word of this apping chapter! I guess it
deserves a separate blog post of its own. Anyways, the point is a hundred
emotions danced in my little poor heart last semester and a thousand of them in
the whole four years of my IIT.
I have learnt some hard- earned lessons, most prominently how
weak man is to the will of God. I have seen my life smouldered to dust, dreams
shattered to crumbs and it all seemed so unreasonable, it just did not make any
sense. And then quite unexpectedly out-of-the blue I saw my life resurrected
beyond my wildest imaginations! Oh dear Mr. Reader what can I say it felt so
surreal, like my life were a movie unreeled. After all my hopes dashed, all
that I had hoped for was lost, I got success I had never quite believed I was
capable of winning. Yes, I am talking of
HEC! It is ranked first world- wide in MS Finance courses. I am a seven pointer.
Well I believe my profile had its own perks. Actually I had hoped to sail comfortably
in the placement market. But life caught me unawares, it hit me so sudden, so
hard, I fell head down on the floor! 17 interviews I rambled on desperate for a
job but luck did not strike until 6th of December 2012! Bless you
Holy Mother of Lord! The sheer huge overwhelming relief! But the job wasn’t getting
me excited. For sheer heck of it I thought of apping. Where? Amsterdam
ofcourse!By then I truly thought I had no better chances than this new unranked
private school (the school had its own pros and cons but let me not bore you
into the details). It left me speechless when more results followed and I made
it to some really good schools. Some even offered me funding. And then of
course finally HEC happened too. It was the very same profile, Mr. Reader, the very
same resume and yet Life painted two contrasting pictures for me.
At the end of the day I felt Life had dragged me to the destiny, fate had chosen for me. Like it were all meant to happen. I had thought my heart would give away, throbbing with so much heart- ache. But amazingly I discovered that it didn’t, that I was capable of living even after the one who had become my life was gone. . I still miss him, oh yes I do I do but I have learnt to swallow the bitter tears. All my pride
and shame has vanquished away. I have learnt perseverance. A hope still shines
in my eyes but I won’t crumble again to dust even if my dreams did and Life threw me down deeper
dirt next time. For you
see, I would be a big girl now. A girl still you can bet, but a big girl I do!
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